1.21 Gigawatts
Hi Friends,
When I was about 12, I had an 8x10 cast and crew photo from a movie I had worked on, and it sat on my dresser next to my bed. It was in one of those plastic protector sheets, which was intended to protect it but it also served another purpose. It hid the glossy black and white photo behind it — Michael J. Fox’s headshot.
Every night, I swapped out the photos so I could gaze into Michael’s eyes as I fell asleep. He was smart, those eyes told me. He was kind. He understood me.
In the morning, I’d put the cast and crew photo in front, banishing Michael to the background until the next evening. I’m not exactly sure who this performance was for, but it was a sacred ritual.
Last weekend, Jeremy and I went to see Back to the Future, which was playing at a 90-year-old theatre just down the street from us. Of course, I had to make a Reel about it.
There are clearly some things that miss the mark 37 years later, but not as many as you might expect. And watching it on the big screen was a different thing entirely, after watching the well-worn VHS on dozens of crappy TVs over the years.
The sound design was incredible — the opening scene of the ticking clocks and the sound system clicking up? The dog food plopping into the bowl? Perfect. Also, the story arc is tight, there is not one extraneous scene. And perhaps my favorite discovery — the Hill Valley theatre marquee announces the film Orgy American Style. How had I never noticed that?? A Reddit rabbit hole informed me that this is an actual adult film from 1973. That film starred an actor with the spectacular name of George Buck Flower. In Back to the Future, Mr. Flower played the character of “Red the Bum” who calls Marty a crazy drunk driver when returns to the present. This entire thing delights me.
But what struck me most was this: before the movie, an announcer welcomed us to the theatre, asked us to silence our phones, and informed us that if Marty was to go back in time now, he would be going back to:
1992
1992.
1992 both feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago.
In 1992, Kurt Cobain was alive and the words Mrs. Doubtfire meant nothing to anyone, outside of this little group of us who worried we were currently making a rip-off of Tootsie, and our careers were doomed. I had just started living in LA for most of the time, still traveling back to Canada when I could. I had just met the love of my life, a German Shepard mix named Billie Jean who would be by my side for the next 15 years, and who I still miss daily. The only person who had ever kissed me was on screen in the film Matinee, and he and I hated each other.
That was both a million years ago, and also just last week. So as Back to the Future has taught us, time might be more fluid and flexible than we thought. We might let the Biffs of the world slap us around, or we might completely change up the ending and ride to the lake in that sweet pickup truck.
Because the world is just waiting for us to get out there and live our density — I mean destiny.
Here’s what else happened this week:
What I’m watching
We Feed People (Hulu) - Ron Howard’s documentary about chef José Andrés and his nonprofit World Central Kitchen. I cried. His work in humanitarian aid and disaster relief is so impactful and inspiring and maybe gave me hope that we’ll be okay.
What I’m reading
Speaking of the 90s, I loved this personal history essay about Taiwan, music, and fax machines - My Dad and Kurt Cobain - The New Yorker
What I’m eating
Trader Joe’s Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce. This was a total impulse buy, but I’m now addicted. I put this on everything, including sometimes just licking it off my fingers out of the jar.
What I’m listening to
What you might want to try
I’ve been hearing from so many people who are burned out and exhausted and stressed. I get it. I’m there with you. And it’s so tempting to think that we are stuck and can’t possibly do anything about our situation. But we do have choices. Something as simple as a Five Minute Body Scan can help you to calm the nervous system and feel more grounded. It doesn’t fix the world, but it helps me to be better prepared to deal with it all.
(And don’t forget that if you want to join the pay-what-you-can Blue Mala community, we have lots more live and recorded classes to help support you.)
Much love and thank you for reading,
~Lisa