Hello friends,
This story was a bit of a throwaway in a newsletter I wrote a couple months ago, and I can’t believe how many of you picked it up and ran with it. Here’s the section you wrote to me about:
As my knowledge of birds grew, I became a person who shared bird stories. When I noticed starlings at my friend’s bird bath, I excitedly told her about another friend, who ended up with an injured starling, named Pickle. Starlings can mimic human voices, and Pickle would scream, GOOD GIRL PICKLE until someone gave her a treat. I think this is a brilliant way of reconfiguring our cultural reward structure, and I think many of us can and should learn a lesson from Pickle.
I got emails and direct messages with the subject line: GOOD GIRL PICKLE. You told me about all the times you didn’t celebrate something that you had done, and because you didn’t bring attention to it, it went unnoticed by everyone else. You told me about all the times you should have screamed GOOD GIRL PICKLE. (But probably with your own name, I guess?)
We all know that obnoxious blowhard who will constantly berate us with his myriad of accomplishments. It’s annoying AF. But I think many of us have gone too far in the other direction, and we neglect to note (either to others or ourselves) when we make beautiful things happen.
I doubt that Pickle was doing something epic like solving The Poincaré Conjecture or something — but even her most humble successes were still worthy of acknowledgment. Pickle knew that to feel rewarded, she needed to flap a little.
So maybe it’s worth noting moments when you didn’t have a panic attack at the grocery store. When you actually made the call to book the doctor’s appointment rather than putting it off for two months. Maybe it’s as simple as accepting the compliment and saying - thank you - instead of shrugging it off and explaining it away.
For many of us with anxiety, we think: if I could just get through this meeting without ripping a hole in my cuticles, I’d be happy. And then when we get through that thing without blood, we say, we’ll yeah, but most people can do that, it’s not a big deal.
We forget to celebrate.
So let’s be more like Pickle. It doesn’t have to be some massive life-altering accomplishment. We just need to remember to stand up and flap our wings once in a while.
Here’s what else happened this week:
What I watched
I mentioned in last week’s letter that I LOVED the Dark Matter book, and thusly, would probably hate the show. Guess what?
Don’t hate it.
Only one episode in, but looking forward to more.
A book I’m excited about
What It Takes to Heal: How Transforming Ourselves Can Change the World
I keep forgetting that Threads is a thing
I posted there the other day and it seems to have struck a chord. Maybe I need to write more about the incredible perks of getting older…
Fun, though disturbing
I listened to this on a flight recently, and it passed the time quite well. Juliane Moore and Oscar Issac were delightful. Although, I might need to stop listening to these kinds of apocalyptic things because it’s got me worried about “the great deletion.”
What I loved
Brene’s Boundary Ring: a video about this thing that we should all probably do
Thank you for reading, friends. I’m grateful for you. I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
Much love,
~Lisa