It's not totally spying
Hi Friends,
Near where I live, there is a building. It looks like a house, but something about it doesn’t feel like a house. There is a large parking lot. There are signs on the front door that give mask-wearing instructions. It feels more like a business, but there is nothing indicating what type of establishment it is.
We moved into our house last summer and for months after, I wondered what that place was. I’d let my dog Olive walk extra slow, sniffing for squirrel tracks on their lawn, so I could try to get a glimpse through the windows. I’d think about it all the time. What WAS it?
I finally found out that it’s an intensive residential treatment program for folks who are recovering from addiction.
I’ve now become even more obsessed with the place.
I’m not going to say I am spying, but I notice when the blinds are open or closed and when they are doing walking meditation in the parking lot. I feel happy for them when they are out there laughing and playing hacky sack and wonder where they are going when they pile into the big white van.
I don’t entirely know why I care so much. Maybe it’s simply because I’m sober, too. Thankfully, I was never an addict —I’d have maybe three drinks a week, but every time I had alcohol it felt like throwing gasoline on the fire of my anxiety. It made me feel like garbage, so I quit.
I haven’t had a drink in something like 16 months, but quitting even without being addicted is challenging. There is an immense pressure to drink, to be “fun” or use it as a coping mechanism. The amount of discourse around this is kind of disturbing honestly - how we need to cancel dry January this year, jokes about Vodka in your coffee cup, and the necessity of “mommy juice.” (Instances of heavy drinking among women has spiked by 41% during the pandemic, so that’s not great.)
Obviously, quitting for me was much easier than for many others. I know people who have dealt with addiction, and I know how strong you have to be to get clean. So I think I watch the place because I’m proud of them. I’m impressed by their courage. Especially in COVID times, when the world is this painful, the choice to not numb out with a substance is truly heroic.
There is such inherent hope in getting sober. Hope that things can change, that we can change, that we can feel better and do better. It’s this relentless feeling that there can be something brighter in our future. I am so grateful that I have a constant reminder of that, right in my own neighborhood.
The dog and I were walking by that house the other day, and six guys were hanging out, talking and smoking out front. They moved off the sidewalk to let us pass, and I said hi and thank you. “No problem” one of them said. I saw him looking at Olive, and then in a small, but entirely heartfelt voice - “oh my God, I miss my dog.”
So, no matter what you are struggling with right now - if it’s addiction or homeschooling or missing your dog - you are strong, you can do this, and you are not alone. Something brighter is coming.
What I’ve been cooking
Among the many consequences of lockdown is the fact that dinner feels like an ORDEAL every damn night. I like cooking. I like meal planning. I like prep-cooking. But apparently, my current energy reserves dictate that I’m exhausted by the time dinner rolls around. So when I find something that is tasty, easy to make, and something other than gluten-free frozen pizza from Costco, I get excited. Make this with frozen cauliflower rice to skip a whole step. Then feel proud.
What I’ve been watching
I’ve become a little obsessed with this glass blowing competition. And it’s not just because they use terms like Best in Blow, glory hole, and punti with unending innocence. I’ve never really watched glass work before and it’s a stunningly beautiful process. And quite often, the piece just slips and shatters, so it’s a pretty good practice in non-attachment and impermanence.
Cool thing I learned about
Many of you know that I work with Combat Vets and recently I did a podcast interview Buzzy, a Veteran who served on B-52 bombers in Vietnam. I don’t know much about that war, so I’ve been doing some reading. I found out that American women volunteered through a Red Cross program called Supplemental Recreation Activities Overseas, AKA “The Donut Dollies”. Think part coffee and donut delivery, part camp councilor, and part therapist. Their job was to bring a comforting reminder of home, and act as a support to the men serving in Vietnam. Despite their service these women have gone largely unappreciated, their stories overlooked. This clip of a documentary is really lovely.
What I recorded
There are so many people and experiences and places that I miss, so I’ve been a little sad lately. But many of us never learned how to be sad. There is actually a way to do it that helps you to move through the sadness in a productive way, and not get stuck in it. So I made a video to talk about that. And while you’re watching, go ahead and subscribe to my YouTube channel because there are lots more videos to come.
What I’ll be doing on Monday
My Yoga for Anxiety class starts up on Monday! Pay what you can, attend live at noon eastern, or watch the video later, beginners totally welcome. If you’ve already lost your new year’s resolution to take better care of yourself, this is a great chance to get back on track.
Thank you for being here, and for reading, Friends.
With much love,
~Lisa
If you are a paying subscriber who gets this email weekly - thank you! I am endlessly grateful for the support.
If you are a free subscriber who gets this email monthly - thank you! I’m glad you’re part of this community.
Want to switch your subscriber level? Cool. Do that below.