The 84th Problem: from the archives
I’m taking a hiatus in December, but I thought I would schedule some reader-favorite newsletters from the archives to be delivered to your inbox. Just in case you needed some reading to escape from the madness.
So this week, we have a story about why you have one extra problem you have overlooked.
Hi Friends,
I read a story about a Buddhist concept this week.
Here’s my interpretation of it:
A guy is annoyed by all his problems. He wants some counsel, so he goes to see a Wise Being and says:
I have all these problems. My back hurts. My best friend is a jerk. My job sucks. My kids are ungrateful. My car broke down…
And he goes on like this, and lists 83 different problems.
After hearing about each issue, the Wise Being states that he’s sorry to hear it, but he’s unable to help with that problem.
The guy gets pissed. What kind of shitty Wise Being are you, anyway? I have 83 problems and you can’t help with any of them?
The Wise Being looks at him with wise eyes and says, actually — you have 84 problems.
The guy says, I do? Surprised that he forgot one in his highly detailed list of grievances.
The Wise Being says, yep. Your 84th problem is that you think you should have no problems. Solve that one, and you’ll be good to go.
We somehow think that for life to be enjoyable, we should have no problems. That’s a problem. Life is full of obstacles and challenges. That’s just how it works. Have you ever watched a nature documentary and noticed how much time the animals spend in peril, just trying to stay alive? A lot. (That’s why I don’t watch those shows. BTW, can we create a nature show that’s just animals romping and playing with their babies and never eating? Thanks.) That’s how nature is, and we are nothing more than animals in nature. But with tax bills.
Solving the 84th problem doesn’t mean that we don’t take action to improve our lives. We can still work towards solving the other 83 problems. We can do yoga to help our back and we can take our car in when it starts making that weird clicking sound. But we need to give up the assumption that if things are hard, we’re doing it wrong.
It’s common to look at other people and assume they have it easy. I fall into that trap when I am scrolling Instagram and I see people traveling to exotic locations, or taking care of their adorable rescue farm with emus and pigs named Ezekiel or Naomi. But I’ve never met someone who cruses through life never having a conflict or a disappointment or a urinary tract infection.
Once we remove the lingering assumption that the universe hates us because we have problems, we can move towards loosening the knots of the things that restrain us. We can have more compassion for ourselves, and others who have their own 83 problems.
So we to learn to see life beyond just what we want to see. And maybe we can get a little tiny bit closer to becoming our own Wise Being.
Here’s what else happened this week:
What I Read
What I Watched
The Diplomat - we’re just starting this one, but I’m enjoying it. Keri Russel is a delight.
What I Loved
Mari Andrew - who made art out of her rejection letters:
What’s on Repeat
What I am Doing
I’m in prep mode for the Mission Flexible Veteran retreat I’m leading next week. We’ve got a fantastic group of Vets who are coming to Virginia for a four-day mindfulness program. There will be writing, yoga, meditation, bonfires, acupuncture, hiking, spa night, art therapy, and a sweat lodge. Epic. I can’t wait.
Oh, and I did an interview this week, which means I curled the front parts of my hair and put on a proper blouse — with sweatpants that I got in 2002 — and talked about anxiety, meditation, and sleep. I’ll share when I have a link.
Thank you for reading, friends. I hope you have the best week possible.
Much love,
~Lisa