As I started to tell the story, my inner voice was saying - “omg shut up.”
My outer voice kept talking, while my inner voice screamed, “Everyone on the planet has heard this story. Stop telling this story. You’re like someone’s annoying uncle who keeps telling the same stories over and over at Thanksgiving dinner. Stop.”
But I was already talking and couldn’t find my way out of it. So I told the story.
And that was my mistake.
OK, not a mistake, per se, but that’s the part that went viral. And viral is…challenging.
You might remember that I went to visit family in California a couple of weeks ago. While I was on that coast, Matt Lawrence and Mara Wilson — my siblings from Mrs. Doubtfire — talked about getting together. We keep in touch but don’t often get a chance to see each other. The three of us hadn’t been in the same room for decades when we met up at 90s Con in 2022, and we vowed to see each other more often.
Matt mentioned it would be fun to have a little reunion on his Brotherly Love Podcast, and both Mara and I agreed.
Recording the episode was lovely. There is an ease with the three of us. We have a shared history that I assume exists with many real siblings — but I’m an only child so I don’t actually know. But that’s how I romanticize sibling connection, and I always enjoy being in their company. It was an extraordinary thing, being part of that film, being part of that legacy, and they understand the pros and cons of that like no one else can.
The whole thing just felt like this:
We had fun and the sweet, wholesome Lawrence brothers blushed as I talked about my 90s hookups, and I dropped the F-bomb within eight seconds in the cold open. So, apparently, I felt comfortable bringing my authentic self to the pod.
And I told this story, as would later be reported in Variety:
"I got thrown out of high school on Doubtfire," Jakub told her costars. "I'm Canadian. I was attending high school in Canada, then I left for four months to film the movie. We were going to set up this system, pre-internet, where I'd mail my school work back and forth to the school. We did that for a while."
She continued, "As Matt well remembers, we had tutoring, three hours of schoolwork on set every day. We were a couple of months into filming, and my school in Canada sent a note saying 'this isn't working for us anymore, don't come back.' Yeah, 9th grade. I was devastated. It was just so heartbreaking, because I had this life that was very unusual, and that was the one normal thing."
"It was a really difficult thing," said Jakub. "The amazing thing was Robin saw that I was upset — he asked me what was going on. He wrote a letter to my principal saying that he wanted them to rethink this decision and that I was just trying to pursue my education and career at the same time, and could they please support me in this. (I have the letter posted on my Instagram.) The principal got the letter, framed the letter, put it up in the office, and didn't ask me to come back. Amazing."
We talked about other things, too. Awkward kisses on set, Andy’s pet squirrel, and why acting and meditation are similar.
As soon as the Brotherly Love Podcast dropped, the feeding frenzy started. These are just some of the publications that carried the story:
Entertainment Weekly
CNN
Business Insider
Daily Mail Online
Fox News
The Hollywood Reporter
Variety
People
Entertainment Tonight
USA Today
ABC News
Buzzfeed
Yahoo News
They are all recycling the same 30-year-old story — because I guess we all want to hear something heartwarming right now. The point of the story is not to demonize my high school. It’s about what a thoughtful and generous person Robin was. Even though my school didn’t invite me back, I was forever impacted by Robin’s kindness and willingness to show up for me. I try to show up for others in the same way, even if it doesn’t actually change the outcome. I try to do the generous thing and honor Robin’s memory.
So what happens when you go viral? Isn’t it great to have articles written about you? Isn’t that what we’re all supposed to want? Going viral sounds fun, right? (Actually, no it doesn’t, maybe it’s aptly named. Are viruses ever welcomed?)
It’s exhausting and annoying, just like any other virus. But when I get a cold it doesn’t usually come with hate mail and threats of violence. The increase in messages like this was notable:
There were many online discussions about how incredibly old I am now, why I didn’t dye my hair, and wondering if I’d had “work” done. I try to avoid the comments, but they sneak in and burrow under my skin like a parasite. My husband repeated “DON’T. READ. THE. COMMENTS” like a mantra and gently but firmly closed my laptop as I started to rage about someone saying it didn’t look like I actually had work done, but that I really should have gotten a nose job.
The comments on our appearance for both Mara and me were horrific, and I want to throat-punch everyone who said things about her, because I’m her big sister forever. We’ve both been hurt by it, despite our best efforts to not let it impact us.
External criticism triggers the inner spiral — so I launch into my own attack. Why do I say “like” so much? Mara’s fancy cat-eye looks so cute why have I never learned how to apply makeup? Why didn’t I realize I needed to be closer to the mic, my sound is patchy. I miss my long hair, why did I cut it?
The valid question is, so why do it? Why do a podcast if I didn’t want lots of people to listen to it? I’ve been asked — “if you left LA because you didn’t want that life, why are you still talking about it?”
Good question. And it’s one that I’m still wrestling with. My knee-jerk reaction is, you’re right — I won’t do it ever again because in this moment I feel vulnerable, over-exposed, and like I have a target on my back.
But here’s the answer I’m working towards:
I spent more than a decade running away from my old acting life. I pretended it never happened. I was ashamed that I had this really weird childhood and didn’t graduate from high school. I always learned that good people were humble and quiet and flew under the radar. So when I get attention — when I’m plastered all over the news feed — I feel deeply embarrassed. But avoiding 18 years of your life takes a ton of energy and it’s like trying to hide an elephant under the rug. No one is fooled.
And also, I love my Doubtfire siblings. People always ask whether we are still in touch, and I think nostalgia is powerful and sweet. I want to share the stories only the three of us know.
I want people to know that being a kid actor is hard, but we’re not all train wrecks.
I want people to know that leaving the film industry is a valid choice.
And so is staying.
I want people to know that living a life that feels authentic to you and redefining success on your own terms is better than walking a red carpet.
I want people to know that the family connections they saw on screen weren’t good acting, it was real love.
The other positive thing to come out of this is the increased attention for my nonprofit organization. On the podcast, I spoke about Mission Flexible and our mindfulness retreats for military Veterans who are dealing with post-traumatic stress. In the past week, we’ve had an increase in Vets applying for our programs, and other organizations have inquired about collaborations. Increased awareness of this life-saving work is such a gift for a small nonprofit like ours.
So maybe all that is worth feeling overexposed and triggering my anxiety. Maybe the fact that strangers are coming up to me and wrapping their arms around my waist is just something that is going to happen for a while. Maybe the violent threats will stop soon.
Because like other viruses, this thing can only survive for so long. There will soon be a viral video of a turtle wearing a funny hat, and that will consume everyone’s attention.
Hurry up, turtle.
You can watch the full podcast with video by clicking below, or download the audio-only version wherever you get your podcasts.
Thank you for reading, my friends.
I am grateful for you.
Much love,
~Lisa