Who are you?

Sitting in my closet getting ready to do a podcast

I did an interview with the delightful Laura Cathcart Robbins of The Only One in the Room podcast this week. At the very beginning of the episode she asked me how I defined myself.

I blanked. Should I give my pronouns? Offer a run down of my resume?

I got totally tongue-tied and rambled about being a bit of a searcher, someone who loves discovering things, whether that was in the external world, or the internal world - and generally - my answer sucked.

I struggle with this question, even though I spend quite a bit of time thinking about it. From the age of four to twenty-two, I defined myself as an actor. And when I left LA and retired from that profession, I no longer had a clue about who I was. I had pulled the rug out from under myself. I was so sure I was an actor. Full stop. So if I could no longer define myself by my career, what was left?

Since then, I’ve been exploring my true Self with the capital S. Not in a navel-gazing kind of way. But with the intention that the better I know myself, the better I’m able to identify my strenths so I can be a benefit to the world around me. If I’m more comfortable in my own skin, if I know where to set my boundaries, if I understand what I am passionate about and what doesn’t work in my life - I can use all that information to show up more fully.

But I still don’t know what the right answer was for Laura.

If I were to do it again, maybe I’d say I’m Canadian, a dog-mom, someone who loves chickpeas. I’m an empath, a fan of 90s alt rock, a terrible speller. I’m someone with anxiety and acne. I love words and hate injustice. I’m passionate about connection, community, and helping people feel like they are not alone. I do not like zucchini.

Absolutely none of those things define me, but I think they can be arrows that lead to the path of self-discovery. And maybe we never really get there, because can we ever really know for sure? I’m not sure we can. But I know for certain that asking the question has made my life more meaningful.

I like this story about someone asking the Buddha who he was. They went through a whole list, are you a god, a man, a wizard? He kept saying no. Finally, what he could commit to was this: I am awake.

I think maybe that’s the best answer ever.

We should all be awake.

What I’m reading

James Baldwin, The Art of Fiction No. 78

INTERVIEWER

Is that one of the reasons you decided to be a writer—to find out about yourself?

BALDWIN

I’m not sure I decided. It was that or nothing…

What I’m wearing

It’s been super rainy this week, and I am living in my Embrace Your Weird cozy light sweatshirt. (As you can see in the photo above.) Also available in a variety of t-shirt styles, stickers, phone covers, and journals.) 100% of proceeds go to World Central Kitchen providing emergency food relief to those in need.

What is coming up

Next week I start another round of my donation-based, all-levels, online Yoga for Anxiety class. Practice with me on Mondays at 12 ET, or get the recording and do it on your own time. The class will be therapeutically focused, and accessible for whatever level works for you. This is about connection, movement, and centering — not perfection. Got a body? You can do this.

Whoever you are, I’m sending you love,

~Lisa