Nostalgia isn't what it used to be
Hi Friends,
I live in a busy downtown area that includes a large outdoor concert venue. We can sit on our roof and listen to concerts, which I find to be a massive introvert win — all the music, none of the crowds. There was a Rainbow Kitten Surprise concert this week, and the arrival of the concert-goers coincided with Olive’s evening walk.
As we passed by the hoards of very cool people who didn’t seem to panic at all about being in crowds, I noticed something important:
The ‘90s crop top is back.
I was in a veritable sea of crop tops. Crop tops paired with high-waisted short shorts. Honestly, they all looked exactly like this:
Now, I love a crop top — I mean, most of the reason I bought a Peloton bike and do the Crush Your Core program every damn day is so that I can get away with wearing crop tops as long as possible. (Seriously, I bought a crop top sweatshirt last week.1)
But it made me realize that our sense of nostalgia right now is intense, in all its bittersweet glory. Nostalgia evokes this pleasure/pain fusion that is so intoxicating. We love it. And we know we can’t ever truly have that again.
We see this in:
the neon brilliance at 90s Con last month
the Golden Girls-themed cruise that leaves from Miami
the 400% increase in the number of people who watched Family Matters on Netflix during the pandemic. (Because of course we all want to watch my boo, Darius McCrary.)
Every generation looks backward for inspiration, so that is nothing new. I remember thinking poodle skirts and saddle shoes were awesome when I was a kid. But there is something extra poignant about the way this is unfolding.
The word nostalgia was originally coined to refer to homesickness and was considered to be a potentially fatal medical diagnosis for soldiers during the Civil War. I think that often feels just about right.
But we keep diving into the exquisite pain of nostalgia anyway, and I have a theory about why.
Our present has been terrifying.
Our future has been uncertain.
The only place that feels safe is the past.
So we harken back to this glorified version of the 1990s. We gloss over Apartheid, the Oklahoma City Bombing, LA Riots, Columbine, the death of Princess Diana and Kurt Cobain. We cling to Doc Martens, alt-rock, and ripped jeans. (All of which I will cling to feverishly for the rest of forever.)
Nostalgia binds us to one another, so even though these past two years have felt brutally isolating, we can laugh together about “be kind, rewind.” The homesickness for those experiences unifies us in this faux-longing for a time without face masks and insurrections.
So for now, sweet friends, find your brand of nostalgia that feels like a warm hug, and know that it will all be okay somehow.
I mean, we got through the breakup of Oasis, we can get through anything.
Here’s what else happened this week:
What I watched
Old Enough! (I promise this is safe for work even though it doesn’t sound like it.)
Old Enough! is a popular Japanese reality show in which very young children (like two-year-olds) run errands like grocery shopping or taking clothes to the cleaners. Seriously. It’s a fascinating look at cultural norms around how we treat kids. “Everything goes smoothly until she encounters a troublesome cabbage” is an actual line from the synopsis. Enjoy!
What I listened to
In case you don’t know Rainbow Kitten Surprise, here's a taste (now just imagine you’re sitting on my roof.)
If you’re looking for your own hit of nostalgia
I teach writing classes, and one of my favorite writing assignments involves The Nostalgia Machine. I recommend choosing a year that resonates for you (might I suggest the year you were 15?) and scroll through the songs/videos from that year. Pick one that makes your heart jump, listen, and then write about whatever comes up. (Caution: keep Kleenex handy.)
What to read
A friend recently asked for some book recommendations, and I went a little overboard (shocker) and sent this list which is still not complete but I had to stop somewhere. Thought it might be helpful for those who are looking for summer reads that are delightful yet substantive.
What is just pure joy
Watch this sweet mini horse named Marvel be welcomed onto the farm after being rescued by The Gentle Barn. The joyful rolling around in his new bed will send you into serotonin overload. You’re welcome.
And because I promised to share
Here is the interview I did with the Today Show talking with the delightful Analise Scarpaci (Lydia 2.0) about Mrs. Doubtfire the Musical. (We are both in our PJs. Don’t tell anyone.)
And also, I was interviewed this week by The Wall Street Journal on the topic of nostalgia, and got to do a deep dive into this discussion. (Of course, they printed just a tiny little bit from me, out of a 30 minute conversation. But still, it’s cool.) Warning: it’s behind a paywall, so you need a WSJ subscription to read it. Sorry!
Thank you for being here, friends. In case all those books were not enough and you are looking for more weekend reading, you can catch up at Blue Mala with some of our most popular posts —
I’m going out of town this weekend, but I’ll be back around Blue Mala next week for yoga and meditation classes. Oh, and we’ll have our super delightful Office Hours on May 11th, where we talk about important issues like anxiety and depression and also debate the proper pronunciation of various dirty words. See you there?
Much love,
~Lisa
In case you were wondering about the basic functionality of a crop top sweatshirt, I hear you. But look how cute it is:
